life

A message, a thought, a story or a day? Lost inside myself I know no way to stop the voice that lives to nag me into submission. To make me feel inferior or to make me feel like my world should be something it isn't.

My life when I could walk and many when I couldn't just flashed by with my mind just going along for the ride and now that I have all my worries at bay these days my life seems more upside down than when I all was a bundle of fun.

I got into GOD in Christ back in the mid to late 80's and I think knowing right from wrong never bothers a person it is what you think you might be doing to the ones around you? Just lighting up a cigarette and a child seeing you do it and thinking you are cool doing it may start him or her on a journey that you wouldn't wish on anyone. Then life goes on and you start thinking about the food you eat and the creatures that have to suffer for me to have a full belly, then you move on to your own self.

Once you own a home, a car, a large screen TV, a stereo, a computer, any and all of life's needs and wants what do you have? You have a need for friendship or someone to share your good will with but at an age that is past the druggie days and days past the drinking days and smoking days who wants to be around you? Not a soul…

There are weeks that go by that I am not visited by a friend or called by one either so you wonder to yourself, is this what I get to look forward to for the next 40 – 60 years?

I always wondered about life and the journeys and places and people I would love to meet and now when I meet them we all say the same things. We all have pains, we all have problems and money problems and the list goes on. I am lost but found for GOD was my destination and his son Jesus Christ is the door way. As sad as this message sounds to you, and I feel it too, there is nothing but love in GOD above and our journeys are the people we meet going and doing things. The ones that piss us off and the ones that go out of their way to help. This big wonderful world is made for our enjoyment if we can just let go of that little voice or I call it satin the dark one. He whispers nasty thoughts when I see a gorgeous woman pass by and he whispers ugly words when I see someone walk by different than me but worst of all He whispers in others ears too and points their hate and bigotry towards me.

I don't hate for there is no place in my heart for the emotion but I can be tricked into anger and the anger can hang with me for days and sometimes weeks but I finally see through the trick and it is all window trappings in a spiritual world. I only loose my stability for that time and when I come back to center I say I wont let that happen again but I know it will. GOD gave us free will and that is the trick, there is nothing to turning off a bad mood except when I am in one.

I know the rules and love all but just knowing the rules doesn't make me a better person acting like a better person negates the rules.

Peace and Love Out

Larry