The Knowledge of 49 Years & 11 Months

All the knowledge I have gathered in my 49 years and 11 months of life I mostly realized that all of our attitudes and feelings come from within and it doesn't have to stay in our minds as we can always change our minds. This is a piece written in the bible that speaks of renewing your mind. It takes forever to lean that we can actually do this. All that we do is stop plugging into all the crap that is screwing with us as we always have choices. My brother and I were sitting in the living room one evening and he said to me, "I'm board" and I looked over at him and said, "I'm mellow". It was just the way we both were thinking and feeling at that moment in time. I always see the glass half full but the funny thing about this thing is that in a week I was board and he was mellow. We all go through all the feelings that the world has to offer it is what we do with them that matter. I took my boredom so bad once that I tried to kill myself. this didn't happen just once I did it again just 2 years ago but now have an outlook on this life we call living that just lets me see the world as it really is.

We will all go through times of trouble, times of need, times of giving and times to forget but killing ourselves is one stupid thing as when we finish with that one there is no fixing anything because it will be the end of all. Kind of strange feeling knowing that you have killed yourself. It was kind of a feeling of finality and I never saw a white light or a black rider or even a dude with a sickle in his hand to come and tote me away. I never died or you wouldn't be reading my writings to date but I had the same feeling when I had gotten on the road to get away from this town when it was closing in around me. I felt that if I didn't leave that death was my only option in life so I sold every thing I owned and hit the road with my thumb and a cardboard sign stating "WEST". When I got my first ride away from a town that I knew every nook and cranny of the town and there wasn't a drug I couldn't have gotten any time and in any place of the four corners of this town of Tallahassee.

I didn't want to be a druggie nor did I want to know anyone that was. I loved to party and drink and play with people and be invited to parties but cripples usually don't get invited to places because they have to be picked up and then dragged up steps and cripples make healthy people uncomfortable. I never thought for sure this was a true story but as 30 years passed I've seen it over and over again. If I wanted to visit people on my own then I needed to learn to fly up stairs because there isn't a house in the world that is level to the ground. I still can't visit anyone but three people in the town and I either stink or have no personality at all because people come by they stay for 10 minutes and then have to leave. I have learned that being alone is the way my life will be forever and I will forever be crippled for my thoughts of GOD healing me hasn't happened in my 21 years of believing in GOD and loving him and putting him first and I have even gone to classes on using the power of GOD to heal and I know it is available as I healed a person at that class but I never tried to use that power again I pray that the person I healed stayed that way and it wasn't something as heavy as making a blind person see or a cripple walk or anything like that it was someone that had a drinking problem that was reveled to me in a vision and even though that wasn't what her problem was it was she had problems with her stomach and once I saw a vision in black and white I saw a olive with a toothpick stuck through it. The teacher of the class figured out my vision and the woman learned what was causing her problem and by the time the class was over she no longer had stomach problems so GOD does heal and he allowed me to heal her.

I know you hear this and say what a fool or she healed herself anything other than it was the power of GOD that healed her. I actually felt GOD working through me and when it came for my healing nothing. Not a damn thing. Now that doesn't mean a thing as you don't even have to believe in GOD to be healed by GOD however the person that is healing you has to be sure of him/her self's believe of GOD's power. It really doesn't matter to me as I feel that my disability has opened more doors for me and I have been and done things that no one on this planet will ever be blessed to see and do. There has never been a luckier jinxed man in this world other than me.

I have learned that the world is for the rich, because the rich want money and things and will only be happy taking money from the people of this planet that use to be slaves but are now pacified into a feeling that one day they might be lucky enough to hit the lottery but even if they hit the lottery the rich will suck it all out of them that or drugs for that is the only thing this planet has to make a poor or working man feel rich. I have learned that people who delve into religion are good people but if they read their bible they would read a verse in it that says, "Knowledge Puffs Up" and it goes on to say the word of GOD is foolishness to wise men. I have found that the minute you belong to a church you become better than the people that don't go to church so this leads to another line in the bible that says, Judge Not, lest the be judged and then we have two more verses in the bible that speaks of, NO WORKS GETTING YOU INTO HEAVEN and then the only thing you need to know that GOD wanted us all to know but 3000 or more years changes the meaning of many things just like a room of people whispering a saying to the person sitting next to you and when the saying gets back to the person that started the saying it comes back sounding nothing like the original saying. It took me 25 years to get this and I hope you learn this too. All GOD wants us to do is to "PUT GOD FIRST IN ALL THINGS & TREAT EVERYONE AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED".

Peace Out

La Roo