I want to tell you a story about life

*I have found that if I carry my telephone in my pocket I will never recieve a phone call.

*I have also found that the second I jump on the john there will be a knock on the door.

*I have also realized that the only day of the week I spend away from my house visiting my parents for Sunday evening dinner and washing cloths that I get a about 3 - 5 phone calls.

*I have found that the second I spend a bunch of money on something and it doesn't matter what it is there will always be a friend or person that has the same thing for sale at a quarter the price but you will never know until you own what ever it is already

*I have found that if I try to sell something it doesn't matter what taht is either by the time I get totally bummed out and just give it away someone will come by and say, well shit I would have paid you top dollar for that.

Ain't life a bitch?

This world is just running slow or fast or off kilter or something but the timing of it actually stinks. I used to think I was the only person that got screwed with by karma or whatever you want to call it but if you talk to others this is a ocurance that is connected to each and every one of us beasts.

I am paralyzed and use a wheelchair to get around and when I try to get dressed sitting in the chair everything that I try to put on like lets say a shoe. First it will be under my wheel and I haven't moved an inch somehow the laws of gravity or Murphy supersede life's screwed up situations. Let me indulge you here and tell you next I grab my pants and of course they are hooked on a screw that I never saw on the chair before and when I get it untwisted some 15 minutes later I usually am so pissed I just rip them out but when I put my foot through the pant leg the pants are twisted at the end so I have to un twist them to get the foot through. Then foot number two comes along and since I had such a good experience with the pant leg now I try and put my other foot threw the other leg that just so happens to come out the same one the other foot is sticking out. When I finally am all dressed and looking hot and frustration I go into the bathroom and open the lid to the toilet and my keys sit on the device that holds my arm rest on and damn it the keys don't end up in the bottom of the bowl full of piss water. I am getting ready to wash up so it really doesn't matter but to see them sitting down there deep at the bottom of the bowl.

I do thank God I hadn't taken a shit in the toilet but night old piss is just as bad. After I get my teeth brushed and hair combed I am feeling good until I look down and see that I have piss all over my lap. This just sends me over the top and I crawl back in bed usually and pray and renew my mind and then I start all over again but using alcohol that I keep on the window sill by the bed I wipe my area's effected by the urine and then I get dressed laying in the bed and all goes good... Now I am ready to go and have a wheel around the lake and sit and drink coffee till 10 or later.

I look at everything as if things didn't happen to me I would have been on the road at the wrong time and some car or truck would have really screwed up my life so all is good and I try to keep that in the for front of my mind.

I have met with so many of these incidents that I don't know what life would be like without them and I sort of think of it as a boss. Since my life is my job then something has to screw with me so it is the little things. I could go on and on and on and on and on if I wanted to but I think all of you get the picture as it is happening to you too. I just don't get it. I really don't understand how Murphy found all these universal laws and had the good sense to write them down. Isn't that just weird.

I was reading a Murphy's Laws poster the other day and it said, "the odds of a piece of buttered bread landing with the butter side up is that of the cost of the carpet". Now how did he know that and I think one day I am going t sit over a piece of very expensive carpet and drop a piece of buttered bread on the floor over and over and over and over again till it comes up butter side up and I am going to find out if Murphy's laws are flawed at all because I am beginning to believe that they should be one of the books in the Cannon that makes up the bible. Called satins psalms or something along those lines.

Oh well, I thought that I would share with you that stuff happens to all of us so don't just think it is happening to each and every person on the face of the planet. That is why it is good to have a place for everything and put your stuff in its place. what are some of the other rules that we should live by? Darn I can't think anymore and Leave it To Beaver is coming on so I have to hit the couch..

Peace Out

La Roo

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